Little kids come up with some really funny things. If you have one you'd like to share please do.

I have a four year old grand daughter, who is small for her age. But she uses words like an adult. She likes to listen to her dad's CDs of Stevie Ray Vaughn. The other day, she was in a store with her mother, and there was music playing on the speaker system. She said "Listen Mom....Stevie Ray". Her mother said she didn't think that was Stevie Ray. My grand daughter said "It most certainly is!". And of course, she was right. :)

Ed

Hi Ed,
That is so cute. Yes they sure can surprise you sometimes. Off hand the cutest story I can recall is when my nephew was about 3 years old. (He just got married last weekend) He was on the back patio and we could hear him stomping his foot repeatedly and each time yelling "some bits" which was toddler for SOB. That got our attention immediately so we all went to see what he was doing besides swearing. My sister in law asks him what he's doing and he says "I'm stomping the bugs" Noticing a large area of squashed bugs, my sister in law asks "Michael, why did you kill all those bugs?" He replys "I didn't kill those bugs Mommy, I just stepped on the and they died by themselves."

You know this thread reminds me of the old Art Linkletter show Kids Say the Darndest Things. I loved that show. It was so hillarious. Saw a rerun the other day of Bill Cosby's remake of it and still laughed at the things kids say.
DJ

Really cute stories! I love those funny things kids do.

I don't have any kids myself, but I have a little niece (Séfora) who is just adorable, and the apple of all of our eyes. She just turned 2 last month, and about a year ago my sis sent me this little story about her "exploits"....

Andrew [my brother-in-law] likes to wrestle with her. Sometimes he pins her down and hits his hand on the floor three times, 'cause he's the winner. Then he rolls her around for a while, and puts her on his tummy, and taps her little hand on the floor three times, 'cause she's the winner. She really likes this game.

So the other day, she's playing with her Winnie the Pooh bear and she's cuddling him, and making that cute "hugging" sound
that all of our family makes (ah-AH-ah-AH-ahh), when all of a sudden, she flips him over on his back and jumps on top of him, and starts pounding her hand on the floor! Then she kind of sits back and raises her hands to set him free, and looks up smiling at everyone, 'cause she's the winner! I thought I would die laughing! Too bad we had just turned off the video camera.

many years ago when my son was small. I think he was about 3. I can remember him getting his little stool and asking me to turn the kitchen tap on for him so that he could wash his hands. After doing it I priased him for being such a good boy when is reply had me in hysterics. he said "I'm waiting to go to the toilet but Nanna's in there so I thought I would wash my hands first to save time." He knew if he went to the toilet he had to wash his hands but didn't know why.

My Aunt told me a story about when her 3 children were very young and she was sick in bed. They had eagerly volunteered to become her nurses during her recovery. So she gave them small tasks to do for her such as fill her a glass with water to wash down her pills. As they looked on at her beaming with pride for their job well done, she washed down the first pill and a horrible thought occured to her. Knowing they would have had to get a stool to reach the sink she started to wonder just where the water came from. To her horror they said "We got it from the toilet, but don't worry cause we flushed it first."
DJ

My friend Donna divorced when their son was about 2 years old. It was a fairly amicable divorce, but through circumstances beyond everyone's control, the ex didn't see much of his son.

When the boy was about 4, Donna and her son standing in line at a cash register and not paying much attention to who was around them.

Imagine her surprise and embarrassment when the little tyke blurted out, "I know who you are, you're my Daddy."

Donna turned around and there in line behind them was her ex-husband.

Margaret

This has turned into a pretty good thread. Here's another one:

When our kids were small, we always made it a point to go on vacation each year. It was always a camping vacation. One year we went to the Great Smokie Mountain Nat'l. Park. It was so crowded, that we were put in an overflow area. Campers were packed on top of each other. I think we stayed for about 5 days. Our oldest boy was young, but old enough to know what a cemetary was. When we were a few miles from home, we passed a cemetary, where they were getting ready for a funeral. They had a tent like structure erected by the burial plot. When my boy saw that, he said "Hey look! They're even campling in the cemetary now!" I sent this one in to the Reader's Digest, and they printed it. I think I got $25.00 for it.

Ed

Ha Ed you've been caught out: copyright infringement :D

I sent this one in to the Reader's Digest, and they printed it. I think I got $25.00 for it

Oh NO! :)

Ed

When my son turned six last October the first question he asked us was...

"Mom & Dad since I am six now, can I be grounded instead of being put in time out when I'm bad?"

He is growing up too quick!

Carl

When one of the girls was small, she yelled "Mom, Mike hit me back"!

Ed

And when one of our boys was about 4 or 5, we were in a store like K-Mart. It was during the time of year when the stores were ready to make their sales pitches for Christmas. It must have been the first day Santa was at the store, and my boy was surprised to see him a few aisles away. He yelled loudly "Santa, what are you doing here?". That brought a few smiles from other shoppers.

Ed

When my son was in grade school, one of his chores was to bring in the mail. I was at the front door looking out as he was taking the mail out of the box at the street and at the top of his lungs he yelled in absolute excitement "Hey Mom, we just won Ten Million Dollars" Yup, the Publishers Clearing house mailer came and the whole neighborhood heard that one.
DJ

You have to understand that growing up in the UP there weren't many black people so when my sister in law took her 3 year old daughter to a grocery store on a visit down state it was an opportunity waiting to happen. She was in an aisle and pushed her cart with her daughter next to a little black girl sitting in another cart while the mothers searched the shelves. Well, my neice took one look at that little girl and blurted out "Little girl, you have a dirty face! You better wash your face or your mommy will spank you!" My sister in law was absolutely mortified and looked helplessly at the other mother who just smiled at her knowingly. Kids are soooo honest sometimes. :D
DJ

A little too honest sometimes. :) Now, what did you do with all the money? :D

Ed

When my son was small, there were very few black people where we lived and I'm sure he had never seen one - there were not many on TV either at that time.

One day during a severe snow storm, I had to get downtown to a doctor's appointment so with my son in my arms I headed for the bus stop - the snow was so deep, the buses couldn't get through, but a black man in a truck came along and offered to drive us to our appointment.

Along the way, the man had to stop for an errand of his own and as soon as he was out of the truck, my son turned to me and said, "Mommy, is that a monkey?" I was aghast!! What kind of ideas was I allowing my son to form?

I quickly hushed him and explained about different colored skin, hoping that he would be quiet until we got to our destination.

"No," he exclaimed, "not the man. I mean that," he pointed to the stuffed animal (a monkey) hanging from the rear-view mirror.

Needless to say, I was speechless and did a whole lot of soul-searching about my own feelings about color. I learned an important life lesson from my son that day.

Margaret

when my son was about 6 we were in a large shopping centre at the top of the escalators. We were on our way to meet his grandmother when he spotted her on the floor below. At the top of his little voice he called out "Nanna" and about 50 old ladies turned around. It was so funny.

Hey, I'm beginning to think this thread tops the Chuckle of the Day. I just love visiting these adoreable but hilarious stories. I have been sitting her laughing my head off. :lol:

Ed
I wish!!! :D
DJ

I have another one from my eldest son. We were in Kmart and he got seperated from us, he was about 8. SO he went straight to the service desk to have us paged. I was running around searching for him when over the load speaker came.. "We have a lost young man here by the name of Paul, would his" then it stopped and re-started "We have a young man named Paul here who's parents are lost, would they please come to the service desk so that he can take them home, thank you." He objected to them saying he was the one who was lost, he knew exactly where he was and it was us who were lost. lol

We were passing a Dairy Queen, and there was a sign advertising a sale on Brazier Burgers. My son said "Hey look! They have brassiere burgers"!

Ed

My grandson, Eli is four and a half. His two grandmothers were visiting him in Madison, WI when he was a little over two. They were at a beach on a lake that is near my daughter's house playing in the sand. Eli carried a bucket of sand to a playground near by so that he could still play with some sand.

He was sitting on the steps of a slide when the two ladies came up to him. Without being asked anything, Eli commented--"I'm on the job, but I'm resting."

My wife and I still use that expression when we are doing nothing.

Haven't had nearly enough time to check into RetouchPRO lately, but read this entire thread this morning... what a riot. Here's my offering:


When my daughter was around 4, she went outside to play and after just a few minutes wanted to come back in the house. I told her "I want you to stay outside a while and get some fresh air."

Few minutes later, she's at the door again.. "Mommy.. come and check my hair and see if it's fresh enough yet."

Good one, ravenmd! Whatever have you been doing with your time lately? ;)

My youngest was dragging his little red wagon around everywhere he went. I asked him what he was taking his wagon everywhere for, and he replied "It's my reportable chair" Lawn chairs, wagons, wheelbarrows, etc. are still referred to by those "in the know" as reportable chairs!

:wavey:

et bien, blacknight.. peut-être vous pourriez m'aider à expliquer

Avez-vous un secret à partager?

And to THAT I reply, in my BEST high school french:

Où la bibliothèque est?

Which, as nearly as I am abke to recall, is something like "Where's the library?"
:wavey:

My granddaughter (now five) who inspired this thread spent the night with us last night. After taking a bath, she put on a purple outfit. When she came into the room where my wife and I were, she said "Grandma, did you ever see that movie "Pretty in purple?"

Ed

This first is from my son, the movie buff. He's known how to work the VCR since he was about 3, but he's just learning how to use the remote since he's the sage age of 5 and reading. He was watching a DVD last week (home sick with the flu) all tucked in on the couch. He wrestled himself out of his blankets and said "Momma, cause the movie. I have to tinkle." Being a wise Mommy, I said "You mean PAUSE the movie. It's the pause button with a P, not C." He looked at me, rolled his little eyes and said "No, Momma, it's CAUSE with a C." He reached out and got the remote and brought it over to me. "See, this is the PAUSE button" he said as he paused the movie. "You press the P-P-Pause button and you C-C-Cause the movie to stop."

About fifteen years ago, I smoked. Veeeery bad habit that I'm pleased I don't have anymore. One day I agreed to babysit my youngest nephew, Alek, who was not quite four at the time. My sister in law and my older nephew, Tye, were going to come pick him up from my house sometime later that day.

Well, I had a big date to get ready for, being a hot young single thang.:D My young nephew in tow, I set about grooming myself up so that I would be ready to go when my SIL got there. First, I took my contacts out, washed my face, and plucked and tweezed my brows to perfection. Then I put on a peel-off cucumber mask. Alek was sitting on the tub the whole time, chattering away.

Then I went outside to smoke a cigarette. (My bad...my bad.) He went with me and walked around in the yard, chattering away.

In due time, I went back to the bathroom to peel off the mask. Then I put my contacts back in and put my makeup on. Right about then, my SIL and older nephew came back to pick up Alek.

Alek runs to Tye. "Tye, you missed it!!!" he cries. "Aunt Amanda took her eyeballs out, pulled out all her hair, breathed fire...and then..." he had to stop to take a breath. "SHE PEELED HER FACE OFF!!!!! It was AWESOME!!!" Then he gave me a look of such deep respect and love it was amazing.

My SIL never did let me babysit again...

This thread has been silent for quite a while, so I thought I'd revive it.

When one of my boys was younger, and to the point where he could read pretty well, we happened to pass a Burger King. They had a sign advertising "Brazier Burgers". When he saw that, he said "Hey, look! They have brassiere burgers".

Ed

When I was in a theater, I over-heard the kid in the row behind us ask: "Mommy? Is that God's TV?"