However, you did ask for critiques. We're a crowd that constantly dabbles in "artistic" renditions, and pencil sketches is a favorite. When I said it "just looks blown out", I meant that, to my eye, my first impression was, it doesn't have a pencil sketch quality, but rather it has the qualities of an image that is extremely overexposed. If it has to be pointed out, then I don't think you've conveyed the look you intended.
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