Chuck,
Thanks for spelling out your request. I've not tested this solution on anyone yet, so, if you'd like to volunteer (and sign a waiver about releasing my from physical harm and potential damages...kidding), drop me an email and I'll forward a test. The test will work, but it may need some slight adjustment -- so I don't want to make it public.
I'll keep you from hurting anything. And I'll get you your solution.
rlynch@pledgemaker.com