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Photo Retouching "Improving" photos, post-production, correction, etc.

My favourite retouching client quotes...

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  #1  
Old 05-30-2011, 04:37 AM
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KeithWilson KeithWilson is offline
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My favourite retouching client quotes...

Now and again I get a retouching client that utters a little gem. They usually illicit a reaction from a mild chuckle to intense irritation. A couple of my favourites follow ...

"I need this rubbish image of me to look fantastic!! But don't change it in any way. Keep it natural."

"In my opinion this is an easy one, so it should be cheap, right ?"

"I would do it myself but I don't have time. It wont take long anyway, will it ?"

"I know my budget isn't huge but this is probably just a hobby for you anyway."

Regards

Keith
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Old 05-30-2011, 08:43 AM
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4personnen 4personnen is offline
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Re: My favourite retouching client quotes...

For this one, you should double your rates
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Old 06-01-2011, 08:00 AM
DragosB DragosB is offline
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Re: My favourite retouching client quotes...

)) really funny but every time you encounter such lines you feel the need to kill the all !
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Old 06-01-2011, 10:39 AM
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Re: My favourite retouching client quotes...

How about,
Send the image,with no watermark so I can see it first before I pay........I can not tell you how many times I've heard that one.......
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Old 06-02-2011, 03:54 AM
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4personnen 4personnen is offline
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Re: My favourite retouching client quotes...

The funniest I had but it's not a quote:
retouch a really blurry photo. I take the job, provides a watermarked version, state my rates, never hear from the customer again.
-2 months later, another mail "can you remove the watermarks from a photo?" what are your rates?

- Just for the lack of honesty, I think my rates are twice as much as for the first job that I completed the first time...ummm well, all things considered, I think I have to say NO!


PS: Looks like some people add the stupidity with the theft. No tracking who you give the job to is just stupid.
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Old 06-07-2011, 02:26 PM
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artofretouching artofretouching is offline
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Re: My favourite retouching client quotes...

I just seem to get a budget worth 20 minutes, followed by 2 hours of touch-ups, that seems to be expected as free.
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Old 06-07-2011, 03:27 PM
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KeithWilson KeithWilson is offline
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Re: My favourite retouching client quotes...

Seems like international boundaries have not effect on us all getting mucked around from time-to-time.

At least I'm not the only one!!
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Old 06-07-2011, 03:54 PM
Mike Abbott Mike Abbott is offline
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Re: My favourite retouching client quotes...

My favourite client quote is:

"That's fine Mike, please proceed. Purchase order attached."

: )

Last edited by Mike Abbott; 06-07-2011 at 04:30 PM.
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Old 06-09-2011, 12:23 PM
Choysnug Choysnug is offline
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Re: My favourite retouching client quotes...

I'm also a graphic designer, so I get a lot of

"I just want it to pop more!"

I had a client ask me to make something "more watermark colored" once.
I had a female attorney ask me to "black out her stomach" which after much prodding and beating around the bush, she finally came out and asked me to make her look skinnier.
I had a woman running for town supervisor in Southampton ask me to take out the acne/freckles on her teenage son's face in a family photo to go in a brochure mailer. I know the kid knew what the picture looked like before. I felt terrible haha
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  #10  
Old 06-16-2011, 05:55 AM
dasinc dasinc is offline
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Re: My favourite retouching client quotes...

Had this request the other day:

"Can you please tell me how much to remove the blur from this photo and change the pants/top I am wearing to a bikini, and make it look like I am on the beach?"

er...photo was of a woman, standing in a kitchen wearing work attire.....and it was out of focus.

I declined the opportunity.
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