My favourite retouching client quotes...

[KeithWilson]

Now and again I get a retouching client that utters a little gem. They usually illicit a reaction from a mild chuckle to intense irritation. A couple of my favourites follow ...

"I need this rubbish image of me to look fantastic!! But don't change it in any way. Keep it natural."

"In my opinion this is an easy one, so it should be cheap, right ?"

"I would do it myself but I don't have time. It wont take long anyway, will it ?"

"I know my budget isn't huge but this is probably just a hobby for you anyway."

Regards

Keith

[4personnen]

For this one, you should double your rates

[DragosB]

)) really funny but every time you encounter such lines you feel the need to kill the all !

[iDad]

How about,
Send the image,with no watermark so I can see it first before I pay........I can not tell you how many times I've heard that one.......

[4personnen]

The funniest I had but it's not a quote:
retouch a really blurry photo. I take the job, provides a watermarked version, state my rates, never hear from the customer again.
-2 months later, another mail "can you remove the watermarks from a photo?" what are your rates?

- Just for the lack of honesty, I think my rates are twice as much as for the first job that I completed the first time...ummm well, all things considered, I think I have to say NO!


PS: Looks like some people add the stupidity with the theft. No tracking who you give the job to is just stupid.

[artofretouching]

I just seem to get a budget worth 20 minutes, followed by 2 hours of touch-ups, that seems to be expected as free.

[KeithWilson]

Seems like international boundaries have not effect on us all getting mucked around from time-to-time.

At least I'm not the only one!!

[Mike Abbott]

My favourite client quote is:

"That's fine Mike, please proceed. Purchase order attached."

: )

[Choysnug]

I'm also a graphic designer, so I get a lot of

"I just want it to pop more!"

I had a client ask me to make something "more watermark colored" once.
I had a female attorney ask me to "black out her stomach" which after much prodding and beating around the bush, she finally came out and asked me to make her look skinnier.
I had a woman running for town supervisor in Southampton ask me to take out the acne/freckles on her teenage son's face in a family photo to go in a brochure mailer. I know the kid knew what the picture looked like before. I felt terrible haha

[dasinc]

Had this request the other day:

"Can you please tell me how much to remove the blur from this photo and change the pants/top I am wearing to a bikini, and make it look like I am on the beach?"

er...photo was of a woman, standing in a kitchen wearing work attire.....and it was out of focus.

I declined the opportunity.

[Chain]

Originally Posted by dasinc

Had this request the other day:

"Can you please tell me how much to remove the blur from this photo and change the pants/top I am wearing to a bikini, and make it look like I am on the beach?"

er...photo was of a woman, standing in a kitchen wearing work attire.....and it was out of focus.

I declined the opportunity.

That's quite quick. Find a picture of a woman in a bikini on a beach, blur it and copy the face onto it. Client might not be satisfied though... :P

[Siciliana]

Oooh, that watermark story is hilarious!

[Siciliana]

I have heard a lot of people say things that seem to belittle the kind of skill involved to do nice work: they think that because the can use some tools, such as the clone or heal tool, or content aware fill, that therefore they 'know photoshop' and that anyone with a two week course under their belt could do my work. I've been using photoshop for 12 years and I am still learning, that is why this kind of work is still interesting to me. There seems to be an unlimited depth of techniques that can be developed from the tools we have. Yet, a lot of people out there seem to think that using photoshop is akin to building a spreadsheet, that it is just a matter of knowing where all the buttons are located in the software. They think that once they know the interface, they 'know photoshop'. No color theory required...

I often get requests from friends to just "tell me how to do this one thing I want to do"(over the phone)... sigh. Do people call their mechanics and ask them how to fix their car?

[iDad]

"Do people call their mechanics and ask them how to fix their car"

perfect analogy

[Repairman]

Originally Posted by Siciliana

I often get requests from friends to just "tell me how to do this one thing I want to do"(over the phone)... sigh. Do people call their mechanics and ask them how to fix their car?

Don't worry, when your friends mess it up (and they will) they'll appreciate your skills more!

R.

[onesh0t]

"soooo... you could make me look like a size 8?"

[_Steve_]

"I know my budget isn't huge but this is probably just a hobby for you anyway."

Hahahaha...priceless?

[nebulaoperator]

Here is one from my experience :
,,I hope you are well, yeap I am working with a portfolio studio firefly and need a photographer to retouch my shoots, it will be around 48 images a week 4 portfolios 12 each shoot, can you quote me on this and also are you able to edit a trial portfolio I have just completed of 12 images for my boss,,

Yeah trial..for my boss....ahhhh...good luck!