Bad Movie Tip-offs
1. Stars a model, a wrestler, or anyone playing themself
2. Plot is "a young <blank> must stop a <blank> from destroying <blank>"
3. "Based on a true story"
4. Anything with chyron titles (hey, you're a visual group, you should know these things)
5. Anything released more than a year after completion (esoteric, but the most serious one of this bunch)
So, what are the tip-offs that tell you it's going to be a bad movie?
Signs you've chosen a bad movie...
It seems like a remake of a big hit film from the year before.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is in it --- and it's a comedy.
It stars Moe, Larry, and Curly Joe.
It has a narrator who tells you exactly what you can see with your own eyes.
It's a Quentin Tarantino movie --- and he's the star not the director.
It's set in a strip club, it's got strippers in it, but none of the women get naked.
It's a Dan Aykroyd movie that he not only stars in but also wrote and directed.
It's a shot by shot remake of a classic.
It's a buddy cop movie starring Whoopi Goldberg and a dinosaur.
There's a famous landmark building that blows up. This is generally the highlight of the trailer.
It has talking animals in it and doesn't have the word "Babe" in the title.
It's a big budget update of a bad 70's TV show.
It's based on a Saturday Night Live skit.
It's an American version of a French film.
It has more than three people credited with writing the screenplay.
It's a live action Disney film.
Every action sequence is in slow motion.
It's a high school film that ends at a prom and nobody dies.
those are great Lisa! and sooo true.
Afraid so... Whoopi after receiving an Oscar for The Color Purple... made a movie called Theodore Rex! It was horrible. I suspect on 1 or 2 people even remember it! LOL
This thread is cracking me up! ok, here goes...
A movie is bad if....
It's based on a video game
It involves young Pop music singers "making their big screen debut".
It's advertised as "The feel good hit of the year".
The words "Star Trek" are followed by a large roman numeral.
it was direct to video
the name Tom Green appears anywhere
These are great. You've inspired me to add some more:
Title has a colon or exclamation mark in it
The star is also "executive producer"
More than 6 producers or 4 writers
Directed by and starring the same guy, and its his first movie
Plot synopsis has one too many points (ie: a tour boat is stranded on a desert island and they're attacked by terrorists)
Theatrical release in January
Anyone involved in the production has either been, or been married to, a playmate, porn actor, or rock star
The plot involves a fatal disease that has no symptoms
The previews quote rural newspaper reviews
hahahaha...that is so true!
I don't remember the name of the movie, but shortly after the opening credits, my husband told me he was going to get a drink. He got up to leave and I said I'd go with him.
As we moved down the aisle, the folks in we were about to trip over also stood and I guess while they were up they also decided to got for drinks. Without saying a word, the whole row got up and left the theatre. I didn't look back, but I'm willing to bet the rest of the theatre followed soon after LOL
Another stinker movie I remember was "Raising Arizona" - I now shy away from any movie where the actors talk real slow (anything with Nicolas Cage) or are overly animated (anything with Jim Carey)
Also, any movie that Gene Shallet likes is bound to be a stinker!
Here's a couple more...
Any movie that spews more blood than the human body actually contains
Any movie where the villian doesn't die no matter how many times they kill him
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