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Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II

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  #11  
Old 12-21-2006, 04:41 PM
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Re: Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II

Priceless!
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  #12  
Old 12-27-2006, 03:07 AM
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Re: Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II

Here's one to get you over the Christmas blues (the thought of having to go back to work).

Quote:
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW drives up in a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd: “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: “Sure. Why not?”
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says:
“You have exactly 1586 sheep.”
“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep.”, says the shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the shepherd says to the young man: “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep? ”
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says:“Okay, why not?”
“You’re a consultant.” says the shepherd.
“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required”, answered the shepherd.
“You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don’t know crap about my business…
Now, give me back my dog.”
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  #13  
Old 12-27-2006, 01:25 PM
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Re: Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II

lol, gary
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  #14  
Old 12-27-2006, 02:48 PM
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Re: Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II



Love it, Love it, Love it!!
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  #15  
Old 02-09-2007, 10:16 PM
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Re: Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II

Bunnies run / jump in the steeplechase

I found it at Cuteoverload.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNPOdffkkLo
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  #16  
Old 02-10-2007, 02:41 AM
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Re: Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II

I wonder how they train them to do that?
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  #17  
Old 02-16-2007, 12:38 AM
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Re: Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Richardson
I wonder how they train them to do that?

Sometimes they don't....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43ecjWV0P5g

This is how some bunnies learn to jump... (don't worry -- no harm to anyone)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ez5QPW-ku4

Last edited by CJ Swartz; 02-16-2007 at 12:50 AM.
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  #18  
Old 02-16-2007, 04:37 AM
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Re: Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II

I guess that rabbit's nickname should be "Hilts". It obviously learned it's fence jumping technique from Steve Mc Queen (The Great Escape).
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  #19  
Old 02-16-2007, 10:24 AM
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Re: Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Richardson
... It obviously learned it's fence jumping technique from Steve Mc Queen (The Great Escape).

That hadn't occurred to me!
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  #20  
Old 02-16-2007, 03:01 PM
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Re: Chuckle for the day (jokes/humorous tales here please) Part II

For any of us who have had a hard time learning to use a new piece of technology -- programming the VCR, learning to use a computer, learning Photoshop/PSP/Painter, learning to text message on a cell phone, etc. -- people have always needed "Tech Support"...
Tech Support for new invention -- The Book

Gary -- is that you in the hat?

Last edited by CJ Swartz; 03-01-2007 at 08:53 AM. Reason: link to video updated
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