Go Back   RetouchPRO > Community > Salon
Register Blogs FAQ Site Nav Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Salon Just hanging around...
(Social area, where non-retouching talk is encouraged)

Holiday eating tips

Thread Tools
Old 12-17-2010, 09:34 AM
Nasturtium's Avatar
Nasturtium Nasturtium is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,123
Blog Entries: 34
Talking Holiday eating tips

(had to share these)

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat.. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!!
Reply With Quote top
Old 12-17-2010, 10:50 AM
amica999's Avatar
amica999 amica999 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Capital Village of Germany aka Berlin
Posts: 1,716
Blog Entries: 2
Re: Holiday eating tips

Hahaha, totally agree - especially with the last paragraph :-)
Reply With Quote top
Old 12-17-2010, 01:15 PM
lkroll's Avatar
lkroll lkroll is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 4,685
Re: Holiday eating tips

100% agree Nancy. We all are going to die; might as well have a smile on my face when it's my turn to clock out. My nightmare is to live to be 100, half blind (and deef), someone else having to wipe my behind, and not being able to drive my car. Don't want to live so long that the little things in life no longer can be part of my world. Maybe this might prevent all the above. lol

Reply With Quote top
Old 12-17-2010, 11:07 PM
Craig Walters's Avatar
Craig Walters Craig Walters is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: somewhere over there
Posts: 8,786
Blog Entries: 4
Re: Holiday eating tips

i dont like eggnog so, substitute 'holiday wine' there for me, but i love mincemeat! i'd amend #4 to also include 'potato buds' with the skim milk one... bleh! walk away! there used to be one exception to the fruitcake rule, A&P's fruitcake was delicious, but sadly you cant get it any more

and as for the last paragraph, i'd include 'and a woman or two mourning your passing'
Reply With Quote top

  RetouchPRO > Community > Salon

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Nov 10 - Holiday Greetings T Paul Contests 7 12-21-2010 03:22 PM
Smithsonian photo rescue tips Doug Nelson History, Conservation, and Repair 1 11-19-2010 07:31 AM
My favorite holiday (BOO!) Doug Nelson Salon 15 11-01-2002 09:46 AM
How to organize your tips ghoffman Photo Restoration 26 06-02-2002 06:03 PM
Submitting tips Doug Nelson Photo Retouching 2 05-20-2002 01:15 AM

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:09 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
Copyright © 2016 Doug Nelson. All Rights Reserved