How To Bathe A Cat

[CJ Swartz]

HOW TO BATHE A CAT
===================

1. Thoroughly clean toilet.

2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.

3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.

4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and
stand on top, so cat cannot escape.

5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds.
(Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this)

6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which
is quite effective.

7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as
possible and quickly lift both lids.

8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors,
where he will air dry.

Sincerely,

The Dog


I trust you all enough to post this without fear of some ding-a-ling actually trying to do it. I'm right to think that.... right?

[CJ Swartz]

A happy result of the above:

[BigAl]

Hilarious CJ. Hadn't heard that one before. I will continue its journey around the globe by forwarding it further

[CJ Swartz]

Chuck -- I won't even repeat what you said, but the answer is a resounding NO!!

[pstewart]

LOL! That's terrific! And the picture is priceless!

Phyllis

[clare]

Fantastic - love it and so does my dog

[Bob Walden]

Helga thinks this is a great idea also. She does wonder what is the purpose of steps 7 and 8?

Bob & Helga

[CJ Swartz]

Helga thinks this is a great idea also. She does wonder what is the purpose of steps 7 and 8?

Ummmm, Helga wishes to see the cat remain in the toilet?

[Ed_L]

Thanks for the laugh. It's worth sending to others. Hooch and Princess don't understand the purpose of steps 7 and 8 either.

Ed

[paulette conlan]

Hi
Just chiming in here and taking a break from fooling around with my new digital camera ( decided on a CanonS45).

Was sent this cat picture by someone whose cat just returned from the groomer. Apparently there was a miscommunication between a request for a " Line Cut " which supposedly is a trim of matted fur around the cat's lower mid-section ( I never heard of that term)and this resultant " Lion Cut". Don't know if the picture is doctored but if it is , I think they did a good job.
Paulette

[paulette conlan]

picture- don't know why it didn't post before

[CJ Swartz]

Awwwww, the poor thing! I've seen a few shaved cats in my life -- mostly the result of hair that's too matted to comb out --- I always feel sorry for them. Not sure why -- I take my dogs to the groomer for trims -- but cats just oughta be allowed to keep their fur. I think they remind me of our poor newly-sheared Suffolk sheep we kept when I was a kid -- they always looked like they were "crossing their legs" to try to cover their naked bodies.

[CJ Swartz]

My Karma ran over my Dogma while it was chasing a drying cat -- Chuck

[d_kendal]

I forgot to mention when I noticed it before, I like your signature Chuck, it's great.

aw, the poor cat! I sure hope that's photomanipulation there!!

- David

[KevinBE]

That's really cute CJ! I'm trying to picture pulling that off with my 2 - 18 pound cats. Max, who is already prone to stampede at the first sign of danger, tends to run over what ever is in his way. The air in the imediate vacinity would be ripped to shreads, and what ever else is near by. I think I would be looking for bandaids and Max would probably be perfectly dry.

[CJ Swartz]

The air in the imediate vacinity would be ripped to shreads, and what ever else is near by. -- Kevin

The same would occur, I believe, with my two old lady cats (15 and 18), and I wouldn't blame them at all.

You are probably already aware of another "How to" involving cats -- "How to Pill a Cat". If you all haven't heard that one, I'll be glad to post it.

Hint: the cat wins.

[clare]

Originally posted by CJ Swartz
You are probably already aware of another "How to" involving cats -- "How to Pill a Cat". If you all haven't heard that one, I'll be glad to post it.
[/B]

Haven't heard it - sounds like a laugh - keep 'em coming.....

[Trimoon]

I was sitting at a traffic light, watching the cars go by when all of a sudden a dog, the boxer type, rushed through the traffic, dodging the cars to make it to the medium. He suddenly turned around and headed back through the traffic. Whereupon he was struck and was thrown through the air 50 or 60 feet landing in the middle of the right-hand lane. The light changed and I traveled through the intersection and was forced to stop because of the dog lying in the roadway. No one would stop, and I might not have either if it were not for the fact that he was laying so that I couldn't get past him. I was sure nothing could be done for him; the injuries were obviously fatal. As I got out of the car and began removing him from the road, I saw in his mouth, much to my surprise, a black ball of fur no bigger than my fist. I moved the dog to the side of the road where I discovered that that ball of black fur was a kitten. The dog had apparently rushed out to the medium to save him, since, during the whole ordeal, he never bit down or harmed the kitten in any way. It's been 2 years and she fits in rather well with our other 3 children...er...cats. We had always heard a farthing was a lucky coin, so it seemed appropriate to name her Farthing (Far Far for short). Below is a recent snap shot, I thought you might enjoy it.

[paulette conlan]

Hi
To keep things honest....

I just did a search on google to see what a "line cut" would be like on a cat and the link I followed led to the above " lion cut" picture. Since it turned out to be a humor site I am not certain that the photo has been subjected to manipulation. That one really fooled me!
PC

[CJ Swartz]

Steve, that's an incredible story, and an incredible beginning to a new chapter in that cat's life! Sure wish the dog had survived, but glad you were the one to find Farthing. Far Far certainly is lucky, and hopefully will share some of her luck with you throughout her lifetime.

[RokcetScientist]

Originally Posted by paulette conlan

picture- don't know why it didn't post before

Yeah... I look like that when Im constipated too!

[Kraellin]

cj,
rofl! anyone that's ever owned a cat can appreciate that technique

trimoon,
i've heard similar stories before, but never one quite so amazing. thank you.

i owned a cat once. i loved that cat. he was a big orange male that was pretty much 'cock of the roost' in the neighborhood. i tried to bathe him once....once. after returning home from the emergency room we made a pact to never do that again.

craig

[CJ Swartz]

Originally Posted by Kraellin

...i owned a cat once. i loved that cat. he was a big orange male that was pretty much 'cock of the roost' in the neighborhood. i tried to bathe him once....once. after returning home from the emergency room we made a pact to never do that again.craig

Craig, if you haven't already read it, you might "enjoy" the so-called directions on "How to Pill a Cat" -- it involves a visit to the emergency room
http://www.retouchpro.com/forums/sho...light=pill+cat

[Kraellin]

cj,

yup. just read it. i believe i've seen that one before on the .net, but it still makes me roll on the floor thank you

i shld also mention in my little anecdote that my cat wouldnt speak to me for a week after that

cats are the most amazing of animals. the biggest single difference between a cat and a dog is, a dog gives you his trust unconditionally while a cat makes you earn it. but once you do earn it from a cat, they are the most incredibly loving and loyal animals in the world.

craig

[Steve Conway]

About time someone mentioned this.

Steve

Originally Posted by Kraellin

cats are the most amazing of animals. the biggest single difference between a cat and a dog is, a dog gives you his trust unconditionally while a cat makes you earn it. but once you do earn it from a cat, they are the most incredibly loving and loyal animals in the world.

craig

[Peter S]

Found this picture of a cat who has spotted the person coming to bathe it!!!!!!

[CJ Swartz]

Originally Posted by Peter S

Found this picture of a cat who has spotted the person coming to bathe it!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Craig & Steve

...a dog gives you his trust unconditionally while a cat makes you earn it. but once you do earn it from a cat, they are the most incredibly loving and loyal animals in the world.

Obviously, no one has earned this cat's trust...

[Kraellin]

hehehe, i've seen both the lion cut and sniper kitty ones before. there is also one of a cat being bathed in a kitchen sink that's pretty funny

craig

[CJ Swartz]

Don't know why one of us hadn't gotten around to posting this wet cat before, but here it is...

[Cassidy]

Rofl CJ, our cat loves water, even hangs around outside shower waiting for you to let him in and then if you are doing the dishes he likes to play in the dishwater as well