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Chuckle for the day (jokes/humourous tales here please)

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  #121  
Old 02-21-2003, 01:49 PM
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winwintoo winwintoo is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Regina, Saskatchewan
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Now, Now, play nice!!

Margaret

ps. It's been my experience that credit cards wear out WAAAYYYY before I do
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  #122  
Old 02-21-2003, 02:11 PM
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Ed_L Ed_L is offline
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Location: northwest Indiana, about 45 minutes from Chicago, IL
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Unlike a woman, credit cards have limits.

Ed
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  #123  
Old 02-21-2003, 02:26 PM
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CJ Swartz CJ Swartz is offline
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Quote:
There are two theories to arguing with women.


Neither one works.
-- anonymous
Chuck
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  #124  
Old 02-21-2003, 07:32 PM
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angue angue is offline
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"If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people happy?"
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  #125  
Old 02-23-2003, 02:27 PM
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serious computer problems?
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  #126  
Old 02-24-2003, 12:04 AM
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Sanda Sanda is offline
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One day, while in New York, the pope decided that he wanted to drive, so he swapped places with his driver. He was a pretty good driver, but being unfamiliar with New York, ended up going the wrong way down a one way street, and was promptly pulled over.
A rookie cop that pulled him over was so flustered by who he pulled over, he called into the stationhouse.
"Sarge", he said, "I just pulled over somebody really, really important! What should I do?"
"Slow down a minute", said the Desk Seargent,"Is he more important than the mayor?"
"Definitely."
"Is he more important than the governer?"
"Certainly."
"You didn't pull over the president, did you?", he asked.
"Worse." replied the rookie.
"Who could be more important than the president?" asked the Desk Seargent, aghast.
"I don't know for sure," the rookie replied,"but his driver is the Pope!"
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  #127  
Old 02-24-2003, 11:52 AM
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CJ Swartz CJ Swartz is offline
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Sandra -- keep 'em coming!
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  #128  
Old 02-25-2003, 07:06 PM
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CJ Swartz CJ Swartz is offline
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You know you are living in the year 2003 when:

You know you are living in the year 2003 when:


1. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is because they do not have e-mail.

2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

3. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

4. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it.

5. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.

6. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

7. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.

8. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

9. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed.

10. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
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  #129  
Old 02-25-2003, 07:45 PM
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Sanda Sanda is offline
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Police Officer

A rookie Police Officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with a more experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people in town who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and immediately observed a small crowd standing on one corner.

The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner."

No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner now!"

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"

"Pretty good", replied the veteran, "considering this is a bus stop."
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  #130  
Old 02-26-2003, 07:43 PM
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How To Bathe The Cat

1. Thoroughly clean toilet.

2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.

3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to the bathroom.

4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.

5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. (Ignore ruckus from inside the bowl, the cat is really enjoying this.)

6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.

7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.

8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors where he will air dry.

Sincerely, The Dog
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