[annadarling]

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. They're used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning, and powerful insight through extreme brevity. Here are 16 actual error messages from Japan.

The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.

Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.

Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.

Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.

A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.

Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.

Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, but we never will.

Having been erased, the document you're seeking must now be retyped.

Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

[tyeise]

That's great, Annadarling! I'd seen something similar once before. Sometimes I wish I could change the error message for my customers, reminding them that there IS a life outside of computers!

[Trimoon]

Visit Google , type in "Weapons of Mass Destruction" and click the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.

[annadarling]

and still LOL!! Worth the trip - thanks, Trimoon!

[CJ Swartz]

Dolphin Stress Test

[Ed_L]

That's a good site CJ. I didn't realize I was under so much stress.

Ed

[Trimoon]

I'm going to take a nap now.

[winwintoo]

REPEAT: DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK IF YOU ARE AT WORK!!

REPEAT: DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK IF YOU ARE AT WORK!!



You won't believe this one......definitely worth the click......I mean DO NOT miss this.....and let me know if this isn't your all time favorite.......

For those of you receiving at work.....be careful!_ I'd hate to be responsible for your sudden unemployment.......
http://www.richstevens.com/NAKED.swf

[CJ Swartz]

Margaret -- you ARE a !!!



Ed -- if you think you're "stressed" after taking the "dolphin stress test" -- don't click on Winwintoo's link while your wife is in the house.

[TwinbNJ]

Margaret - now this is priceless! Ha Ha Ha Ha

[Ed_L]

Now I'm "really" stressed!

Ed

[winwintoo]

Law: Lawmakers are proposing a new law that will not allow anyone to come closer than 100 meters from a dead whale's carcass.

Explanation: This law was proposed after footage was shot of tourists going amongst a feeding frenzy of sharks on a dead whale carcass in order to pet the sharks. Lawmakers, in order to protect people too stupid to protect themselves, are attempting to pass this law restricting how far away one might come to a dead whale. There already is a law that restricts how close one may come to a live whale, but no such law for a dead whale.

Hmmmm

Margaret




http://www.dumblaws.com/explanations....php?LawID=191

[winwintoo]

Hello" Says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

After a brief pause Dad says, "But you haven't got an Uncle
Frank, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone,
run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy
and Uncle Frank that my car just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!"

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone."Well,
I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran
around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and fell down
the front steps and she's just lying there. Her neck is at a funny
angle. I think she's dead."

"Oh my god... And what about Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all
scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming
pool, but he must have forgot that last week you took out all the
water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool
and is just lying there, not moving. He may be dead too."

There is a long pause, then Dad says, "Swimming pool... Is
this 854-7059?"

[Suzanne]

Mom and Dad are at wit's end with their son Johnny, who is constantly getting into trouble in grade school. His grades are terrible and besides that, every day it's a note from the teacher, conferences with the principal, detention...he's incorrigible and no sort of discipline seems to make any difference,

Finally they decide to send him to Catholic school and see if the nuns can do anything with the boy. After the first day, Harry comes home and his parents are thrilled that he has no notes from the teachers. The second day, passes, with the same result. The third day, the fourth day...a whole week passes with no discipline problems whatsoever, and besides that, his grades are impeccable.

The parents are amazed and finally ask Johnny what's going on. "Why are you doing so well at this school, when your grades were awful and never a day went by without your getting into trouble at your old school?" they ask him.

Johnny replies, "Well, when I walked into school on the first day and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!"

(Sorry if I offended anyone - I'm Catholic and this one still cracked me up!)

[Trimoon]

10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:

10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
9) Duct tape won't fix that
8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's
7) Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
6) I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
5) My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
4) I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
3) Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't
seen.
2) I didn't know that could be fried.

And the #1 thing you've never heard a southerner say:

1) Checkmate.