Chuckle for the day (jokes/humourous tales here please)

[DannyRaphael]

re: How many forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?

Brilliant post, Michael.

[CJ Swartz]

This artist's e-cards are famous, and she allows some to be seen for free, including this one for St. Patrick's Day: (SORRY -- it's in FLASH)

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcar...ode=RD20627240

Link to her list of cards:
http://www.jacquielawson.com/thecards.asp

[winwintoo]

This is a cute movie - sorry it is for high speed only -

http://users.skynet.be/fa001435/vide...ktimeleger.mov

For those of you on dial-up, the movie is a tragic love story with a happy ending and this is a frame from near the end of the movie.

I thought it was appropriate considering the animated discussion lately about Macs vs. PCs - enjoy, Margaret

[CJ Swartz]

Originally Posted by winwintoo

a tragic love story with a happy ending

It is SOooooo Sweet! I was afraid there for a while

[jaykita]

My first time post here.
Somebody sent me this. Excuse me if u have read it before.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked
was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure. Why?

In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant
In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!!

(With apologies to all!)

[Gary Richardson]

Nice one Judy. On a similar line, The difference between an Englishman and an American is; an American thinks a hundred years is a long time, and an Englishman thinks a hundred miles is a long distance.

[byRo]

Originally Posted by jaykita

In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant .....
(With apologies to all!)

No need to apologize here, it's quite true...
When I arrived in Brazil (over 25 years ago) I had learned three words in portuguese: "Yes", "No" and "Thank you".
Happens that they hardly ever say "Yes" (*), and never say "Thank you" - ends up the only thing I could say was "No"!

But as nobody ever says "Please" and "Thank you" nobody misses it either.

Rô
(*) in portuguese you just repeat the verb as an affirmative.

[Duv]

A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?"

"Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.

"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."

Cheers

Dave (not the same Dave)

[rondon]

You are a South African bush pilot. You fly in some critical medical supplies, enjoy a quick lunch at the hospital.

It's a stifling 100 degrees in the shade and you're eager to get back up to the cool, high blue yonder.

On the way back to your plane, you discover that the only bit of shade, within 1 mile, has become very popular . . . You start calculating the distance to the plane door and wonder . .

"Do I feel lucky today?"

[CJ Swartz]

Get it cleaned for you -- for free! (not sure about dial-up download issues)


http://mypage.bluewin.ch/screenclean/

[Gary Richardson]

Very good, my dog barked at the screen when she saw/heard the clip. By the way it took 5 mins to download on dial up.

[CJ Swartz]

Originally Posted by Gary Richardson

Very good, my dog barked at the screen when she saw/heard the clip.

Originally Posted by Gary Richardson

By the way it took 5 mins to download on dial up.

-- Sorry, Gary, and all other dial-up viewers. Don't feel too bad, I cry when I look at my broadband fees for the year.


For those on dial-up who don't want to wait 5 minutes to find out how their monitor screen would "get cleaned" -- a cat comes up on the other side of your monitor and licks off the spots -- with sound effects.

[Gary Richardson]

When you're used to 1Hr downloads, 5 mins is fast. If I had access to decent lines where I am, I'd have broadband in an instant.

[rondon]

not only phone but the lines into town have problems.

two things in the news give me hope that someday things will improve..

they made it legal to use powerlines in the US.. and the new wireless coming out that extends 30 miles.

The wireless being the most promising here.

Walmart is thinking about putting towers for it on every store. If so it will also provide wireless cable as well as telephone.

My worry is there are 4 Walmarts in this area all about 30 miles... will I make it ?
if so this will be faster than cable.

The power line idea is good also.. It works so well and cheaply that you have to wonder why it wasn't done before. The answer is the HAM operators claimed it would disrupt them.. it's been found it is not so.. Imagine all the cable lines that weren't needed?

The power line thing is catching on in some parts but I don't know if our little electrical co-op will invest the money in tech.

anyhow there may be hope on the horrizon for us in the boonies.

[winwintoo]

Well, you guys could move up/over here and join me. I have my choice of highspeed internet delivered via cable or telephone and I can also get TV delivered via cable or digitally via telephone if I want. The cable company also offers digital for a small premium. Virtually all of our cables (electrical, telephone, and tv) are buried underground so weather rarely interferes with transmission and since burying everything was a fairly recent event, the lines are all recent vintage and in good repair - makes for really reliable service.

And here on the bald prairie, with no telephone and power poles to obstruct the view, you can see for miles........

....except on a day like today - April 27th when it's snowing like crazy

So you think you've got problems Margaret