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Chuckle for the day (jokes/humourous tales here please)

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  #261  
Old 11-11-2004, 12:03 PM
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Ed_L Ed_L is offline
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A lawyer took his brand new Ferrari out of the interstate highway. On hearing a noise, he pulled over to see what it was. When he opened the door, another car hit it, ripping it away from the rest of the car. A police officer happened to be near the accident, and he was there in less than a minute. The lawyer was ranting and raving. "Lood what that idiot did to my new car!" The officer immdeiately responded by saying he couldn't understand how lawyers could be so materialistic! The lawyer asked why he would say such a thing. The officer replied "Look at your left arm. It's been ripped off your body at the elbow!!" To which the lawyer said "Oh my God! My Rolex!"

Ed
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  #262  
Old 12-29-2004, 05:06 PM
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MBChamberlain MBChamberlain is offline
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When the World Is MINE!!!

I am hereby formally announcing that I will be taking over the world. It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow, but trust me, you'll all wake up one day and realize that I'm the guy working behind the scenes to control the flow of human events, <Insert Evil and Maniacal Laugh Here>.

And for the rest of you megalomaniacs, read "The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord" (even though there are more like 231 if you check the cell blocks for the things that didn't make it.)
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  #263  
Old 02-01-2005, 11:23 AM
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this one gave me a big chuckle i sure feel safer w/ these experts
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  #264  
Old 02-07-2005, 05:16 PM
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CJ Swartz CJ Swartz is offline
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If you'd like a bit of music, and a laugh - listen to the "Mississippi Squirrel Revival" by Ray Stevens
http://tinyurl.com/ayq5u

Don't know how well it works for those on dial-up, sorry (you can READ the lyrics of the song if you can't hear the music) -- but for broadband, it works fine!

Last edited by CJ Swartz; 05-14-2005 at 07:37 PM. Reason: updated website url
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  #265  
Old 02-08-2005, 07:17 AM
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Gary Richardson Gary Richardson is offline
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It works fine on dial up too. Thanks for the link.
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  #266  
Old 02-08-2005, 07:45 AM
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CJ Swartz CJ Swartz is offline
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Gary -- thanks for the info about dial-up!
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  #267  
Old 02-08-2005, 01:27 PM
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Gary Richardson Gary Richardson is offline
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My pleasure, thanks for the laugh.
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  #268  
Old 02-16-2005, 04:58 PM
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Gary Richardson Gary Richardson is offline
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I was given this exerpt from a friend interested in genealogy. Taken from a Probus Newsletter at Geoff Caldwells in Melbourne. Thought it quite amusing.

An amateur genealogical researcher discovered his great uncle Remus Star was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in1889. The only photograph of Remus was taken when he was standing on the gallows just before he was hanged. On the back of the photograph was this inscription.

“Remus Star, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison in 1883, escaped in 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer 6 times, caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.”

In the family history subsequently written by his descendant, Remus’s picture was cropped and enlarged to show just his head. The accompanying biographical outline reads as follows.

“Remus Star was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include the acquisition of of valuable equestrian assets and he had closely intimate dealing with the Montana Railroad. Beginning in 1883 he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility until, in 1887, he finally took his leave from it to resume profitable dealings with the Montana Railroad. Later, in 1888, he was a key player in vital investigations conducted by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honour, when the platform on which he was standing suddenly collapsed.”
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  #269  
Old 02-16-2005, 05:31 PM
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CJ Swartz CJ Swartz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Richardson
I was given this exerpt from a friend interested in genealogy. Taken from a Probus Newsletter at Geoff Caldwells in Melbourne. Thought it quite amusing.”


(also brilliant writing)
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  #270  
Old 02-16-2005, 05:52 PM
MaryLynn MaryLynn is offline
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Gary, that is priceless. A friend once remarked that, when doing genealogy, you have to take the horse thieves with the heroes. This is the first case I've seen of turning the horse thief into a hero.

Then there is the wealth of information in the attached obituary. It is only because I was looking for something else that I found the young man had ever lived, let alone died. I managed to get a death date from a cemetery record.
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