[Jakaleena]

"Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a high-tech company. During
the welcoming ceremony, the boss says, "You're all part of our team now.
You can earn good money here, and you can go to the cafeteria for something
to eat. So don't trouble any of the other employees."

The cannibals promised not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later, the boss returns and says, "You're all working very hard,
and I'm very satisfied with all of you; however, one of our janitors has
disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?"

The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing janitor. After the boss
has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others, "Which of you
idiots ate the janitor?"

A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says, "You
fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders and Project Managers so
no one would notice anything, and you have to go and eat the damned janitor!"

[Ed_L]

Lookout Doug!

Ed

[rondon]

well ... since there isn't a "tasteless humor " forum will post this here... but the guys a cat lover .. what can I say ?

[Ed_L]

Too funny!

Ed

[G. Couch]

Jak, Ron - Thanks for the good laughs! those made my day!

[Ed_L]

A very attractive woman had a ticket for a train ride to a nice vacation spot. It was to be an overnight ride, and there was a mixup in the reservations. When she boarded the train, she found out that she was to share a sleeper room with a man who she never met, instead of with a woman, which is what she expected. All other sleepers were filled. Relucantly, she agreed to take the top bunk, but insisted on a certain amount of privacy. The fellow who she was to share the room with turned out to be an exceptionally handsome man. That evening, they were both in their respective bunks, ready for a good night's sleep. After being in bed for a short while, she asked the man below if he would hand her a blanket because she was cold. He said "I have a better idea. Why don'lt we just pretend we're married". She didn't hesitate in saying "That's a great idea!". To which he responded "Good, get your own damn blanket!" .

Ed

[Jakaleena]

THE SENILITY PRAYER

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

[Ed_L]

A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a

man standing, holding a 5 iron. in his hands, looking at the lifeless body

of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?" "Yes." "Did you hit her with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did." The man stifles a sob, drops the club, and puts his hands on his head. "How many times did you hit her?" "I don't know. Five, six, seven..... Just put me down for a five."

Ed

[Sam]

An Arizona cowboy on holiday in Mexico stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation down here! Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

[fugitive]

About time we had some real adult humor. Thanks Sam.

[Hankster65]

Good one, Sam! After the night I had, I needed a good laugh and that one did it. Thanks.

[DJ Dubovsky]

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,

If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no
fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can do all these things,

Then you are probably the family dog.

[Ed_L]

Not only funny, but true! I'm going out to get drunk. And I haven't had a drink for 23 years!

Ed

[Wanda Schwind]

Guys, these jokes are soooooooo funny I feel like an idiot sitting here laughing all by myself, shhhhhh.... don't tell anyone My husband works until midnight, your jokes are most appreciated. Ed, I never have a blanket, my husband always has the damn blanket, he'll deny it to the end

Wanda

[Ed_L]

Wanda,

He already told me that it's you who gets all the blanket! You're not laughing all by yourself. You're just not sitting next to the rest of us. This has been a good thread.

Ed