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Chuckle for the day (jokes/humourous tales here please)

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  #291  
Old 03-21-2005, 05:17 PM
Gary Richardson's Avatar
Gary Richardson Gary Richardson is offline
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Nice one Judy. On a similar line, The difference between an Englishman and an American is; an American thinks a hundred years is a long time, and an Englishman thinks a hundred miles is a long distance.
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  #292  
Old 03-22-2005, 05:39 AM
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byRo byRo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaykita
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant .....
(With apologies to all!)
No need to apologize here, it's quite true...
When I arrived in Brazil (over 25 years ago) I had learned three words in portuguese: "Yes", "No" and "Thank you".
Happens that they hardly ever say "Yes" (*), and never say "Thank you" - ends up the only thing I could say was "No"!

But as nobody ever says "Please" and "Thank you" nobody misses it either.


(*) in portuguese you just repeat the verb as an affirmative.
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  #293  
Old 03-22-2005, 09:07 AM
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Duv Duv is offline
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A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?"

"Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.

"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."

Cheers

Dave (not the same Dave)
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  #294  
Old 03-25-2005, 12:26 AM
rondon rondon is offline
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From my Email

You are a South African bush pilot. You fly in some critical medical supplies, enjoy a quick lunch at the hospital.

It's a stifling 100 degrees in the shade and you're eager to get back up to the cool, high blue yonder.

On the way back to your plane, you discover that the only bit of shade, within 1 mile, has become very popular . . . You start calculating the distance to the plane door and wonder . .

"Do I feel lucky today?"
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File Type: jpg CoolKats.jpg (66.1 KB, 53 views)
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  #295  
Old 04-25-2005, 07:48 PM
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CJ Swartz CJ Swartz is offline
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Does your monitor need cleaning?

Get it cleaned for you -- for free! (not sure about dial-up download issues)


http://mypage.bluewin.ch/screenclean/

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  #296  
Old 04-26-2005, 01:20 AM
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Gary Richardson Gary Richardson is offline
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Very good, my dog barked at the screen when she saw/heard the clip. By the way it took 5 mins to download on dial up.
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  #297  
Old 04-26-2005, 11:11 AM
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CJ Swartz CJ Swartz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Richardson
Very good, my dog barked at the screen when she saw/heard the clip.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Richardson
By the way it took 5 mins to download on dial up.
-- Sorry, Gary, and all other dial-up viewers. Don't feel too bad, I cry when I look at my broadband fees for the year.


For those on dial-up who don't want to wait 5 minutes to find out how their monitor screen would "get cleaned" -- a cat comes up on the other side of your monitor and licks off the spots -- with sound effects.
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  #298  
Old 04-26-2005, 12:53 PM
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Gary Richardson Gary Richardson is offline
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When you're used to 1Hr downloads, 5 mins is fast. If I had access to decent lines where I am, I'd have broadband in an instant.
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  #299  
Old 04-27-2005, 08:55 AM
rondon rondon is offline
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Yeah! here too.

not only phone but the lines into town have problems.

two things in the news give me hope that someday things will improve..

they made it legal to use powerlines in the US.. and the new wireless coming out that extends 30 miles.

The wireless being the most promising here.

Walmart is thinking about putting towers for it on every store. If so it will also provide wireless cable as well as telephone.

My worry is there are 4 Walmarts in this area all about 30 miles... will I make it ?
if so this will be faster than cable.

The power line idea is good also.. It works so well and cheaply that you have to wonder why it wasn't done before. The answer is the HAM operators claimed it would disrupt them.. it's been found it is not so.. Imagine all the cable lines that weren't needed?

The power line thing is catching on in some parts but I don't know if our little electrical co-op will invest the money in tech.

anyhow there may be hope on the horrizon for us in the boonies.
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  #300  
Old 04-27-2005, 09:43 AM
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winwintoo winwintoo is offline
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Well, you guys could move up/over here and join me. I have my choice of highspeed internet delivered via cable or telephone and I can also get TV delivered via cable or digitally via telephone if I want. The cable company also offers digital for a small premium. Virtually all of our cables (electrical, telephone, and tv) are buried underground so weather rarely interferes with transmission and since burying everything was a fairly recent event, the lines are all recent vintage and in good repair - makes for really reliable service.

And here on the bald prairie, with no telephone and power poles to obstruct the view, you can see for miles........

....except on a day like today - April 27th when it's snowing like crazy

So you think you've got problems Margaret
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