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Zen and the Art of RP Maintenance
very loose paraphrase of a web-based support session
me: My database is corrupt and when I run the repair utility it gives me an error. Can you determine the cause of this error? I must run the repair utility very frequently to maintain my site.
them: Which database would you like us to repair?
me: No, I need to be able to repair the site myself.
them: You can repair the database by running the repair utility.
me: I know how to repair it, but it's giving me an error. Can you determine why I'm getting an error? No one can access my website until this is fixed.
them: I just pinged your domain, no one should have any trouble accessing your site
me: My network is running fine, no one can access my site because the database has been corrupted.
them: You need to run the database repair utility. It is located on your site control panel.
me: I know where the repair utility is located, I've run it several times. It errors out and I need you to determine why.
Many exchanges later:
them: We have repaired your database.
me: Thank you, but I need to be able to do my own maintenance. Did you determine why it was erroring out?
them: You can do your own maintenance by running the repair utility.
To get the full effect, insert a 1/2 hour wait between each reply, end each reply with "Thank you, and please contact us if we can be of any more assistance", and have each response sent by a different tech, most (or all) of them from India.
You need to get your application in for sainthood, if you need a counter signatory I'll happily oblige.
ps. Is there a dent in the desk yet.
i share your pain, buddy...
i had similar talk few weeks ago, when we had troubles w/ IIS server on our faculty's domain... the moment i'll find out how to murder someone via phone, the life will get a whole lot better... for me
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