[BodegaGo]

"you mean you can't just process all of the images?"

"i put a blue filter on the lens cause i wanted a colder tone to the story"

"why should we have to pay for retouching on photographs that we didn't end up using?"

"why can't you make my photograph look like an annie leibovitz photograph?"

[Photo678]

"it's 300x400 pixels, i need to have it printed 11x14"
"I saved it as a low quality jpeg, and now it is all jaggy, fix it"
"the check is in the mail"
"i could do this myself"

[KR1156]

no joke…

"i only want it die-cut on 1 side"

[winwintoo]

A customer had some ancient charcoal portraits that had been damaged in a flood. She wanted me to fix them.

No, she didn't want new prints, she wanted me to "fix" the portraits that she was holding in her hands.

I explained that I use a computer and all I could do was scan the images and try to repair the damage on the computer and provide new prints.

She blew a gasket and yelled at me that she knew I was going to use a computer "did I think she was stoopid" and if I couldn't do it maybe I could help her find someone who was better at using a computer and could do it for her.

That pretty much ended my re-touching career.

Margaret

[Swampy]

When ordering business cards, letterhead etc..."You can download our logo from our web site."

"Can you email that artwork to the newspaper?" (The PhotoShop file is 72 MB)

[BodegaGo]

"shooting the color card screws up my rhythm"

[DBizzzaro]

Many years ago I worked for a Photo Restoration place called Pro Color. We did work through Macy’s and Gimbals. Woman has a tintype photo of her great grandfather she wants to have restored. She asks if we can take his hat off. Salesperson asks her what kind of hair he had, curly, wavy, straight? She says you’ll know when you take the hat off!
How about can you add dark highlights? (From an art director too.)

[Little Fisher]

"I think something is wrong with this outlet because my laptop froze!" -she didn't plug her mouse in.
"Only talk to me in megabytes. Kilobytes are just too big. How will you email it to me?"
"Can you rotate it so it swooshes stage right?"
"Why don't you burn the uploads to me?"

[Photo Grafix]

Not all that stupid, but a great example of improper English that I hear more and more these days: "Can you Photoshop it?" It should be "Can you retouch it" or some similar verb. Photoshop is a noun. Not a verb. But we saw this same thing done with Xerox: "Can you Xerox it?"...And Google "Can you Google it?"

[CathyH]

I find myself still saying xeroxing when referring to making copies, but my teenage kids don't know what I'm talking about. I think thats funny. And they look at me like I'm crazy.

[chrishoggy]

From a customers:
"Will your scanner eat my original picture?"

"My CD player will not play the picture CD you sent me, it just makes a screaching noise"

"Why does it cost so much, when the computer does all the work?"

"This canvas print looks a little out of focus, but my original (6x4) looks OK"

And the one I get all the time:
"Can I download the full size image before I pay"

[Nanls]

After, in detail, explaining that we can't upsample a 72 dpi, .5" x.5" to a 300 dpi 1 1/2" x2" image for print (it will look like caca, etc, etc.) And requesting a replacement image be sent by email. Email response: "That's okay, I have a friend that says he can do it for me!" lol This after I told her, "and "no" if you come here, I can not snap a digital picture of you".
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Okay, so can you take the girl out of the other picture (she upload 6 photos all with an assortment different people) and can you take off our sunglasses and give me a different expression?
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~Nancy~

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