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  • Women!

    I don't remember where I saw this joke, but it apparently took place quite a few years back in history. It showed two gentlemen, in their white garb (scientists?), and a very large aquarium type fish tank. In the tank were five or six women swimming around. One of the guys told the other, "Yes, they're beautiful and graceful creatures. One day, we hope to understand them".

    Which brings up this scenario. My wife was doing some weeding in her flower garden, and I was on the other side of the fence in the back yard. She said to me "Will you hand me the shovel?" Which means (take the poll).

    (Only women responses are likiely to be right)

    Ed
    20
    I'd appreciate it if you would hand me the shovel.
    65.00%
    13
    I'd appreciate a little help over here.
    25.00%
    5
    There's one hell of a big hole to dig, and you're going to do it!
    10.00%
    2
    Don't make plans. The rest of your day is mine.
    0.00%
    0
    Last edited by Ed_L; 05-21-2002, 01:15 PM.

  • #2
    Hmmmm. Ed, before I answer your poll, I need to know what you were doing in the backyard when your wife was weeding -- working on a project that your wife asked you to do, sitting idly sipping a tall cool one, standing and watching your wife weeding, working on a project that you assigned yourself instead of working on one that your wife asked you to do, or whatever else you were up to.

    Comment


    • #3
      Also, I think we need to know a little "history". Is it common for your wife to be working in the garden without you? Is this a source of contention, or do you have "duties" divided such that she works in the garden if you do something else (say, mow the lawn)? And do you hold up your end of that deal? Or was she working in the garden becauce "no one else in this house will do it and it needs to be done"?

      Also, is there anything unrelated to yardwork that your wife has been upset about in the past week/month?

      And what kind of mood was she in this morning? Was she stressed about everything she has to do today? Or did she seem relaxed? Does she enjoy working in the garden?

      I agree with CJ - there are way too many variables just to choose one of the answers above!

      Jeanie

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by CJ Swartz
        ...working on a project that you assigned yourself instead of working on one that your wife asked you to do...
        !!

        The correct response would have been "Honey, you look like you could use a break. Why don't I fix you a drink and you can go sit down while I finish this for you!"

        And unless those were some very, VERY large weeds, I'm going out on a limb and assuming she wanted help... and I don't just mean by passing over the shovel. (:

        Comment


        • #5
          Maybe I'm a weird kind of girl but if I ask for a shovel it's because I want it to dig myself. If I want a hand digging I come out and ask for that directly such as "Could you help me dig this up please?" That always works for me. Of course I usually say that after I get the shovel so I have more leverage as to what they will reply. Who's going to say no when someone threatens them with a shovel. Just kidding
          DJ

          Comment


          • #6
            I'd have to go with CJ and Jeanie on that one, Ed. Way too many variables...

            I have always wondered why it is that men (or anyone for that matter) have to turn themselves inside out trying to guess what it is that I want, and then continuously wonder if everything I say has some mysterious alterior meaning. But here are my own personal thoughts on those types of situations.

            1. Ask me what I want/mean if you're not sure

            2. Believe my answer

            Comment


            • #7
              DJ, you've just added another variable -- what was said right before she asked Ed for the shovel. Perhaps she's getting ready to "threaten"...

              I agree that folks shouldn't feel the need to guess what she or he "really means", but I've also experienced dealing with folks who mean MORE than their words say. I'll bet, however, that Ed's wife is a direct type of person (remember "I'm not a doctor") She probably just wants the shovel. But that still doesn't guarantee what she's gonna do WITH it.

              BTW, Ed -- thanks for starting this thread -- it's been fun!

              Comment


              • #8
                Apparently there should be an option 5 - "Will you hand me the shovel?" could mean any number of things, and fully answering the question depends on an almost infinite number of variables...sort of like predicting the weather!

                My advice - hand her the shovel and walk away slowly.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I think you have a long row to hoe Ed. Your gonna loose what ever you say.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Well, some cool responses. But Brandee at lease assumes that she didn't *mean* what she *said*. For what it's worth, she usually doesn't want me to weed her flowers because when I do I weed her *flowers* (and miss the weeds). I do just about all of the physical labor. We have a vegetable garden being prepared for planting. That's my job. Jak said "Ask me what I want/mean if you're not sure". That's *sure* death! I think Greg was close when he said "hand her the shovel and walk away slowly. I would only change the last word to "quickly".

                    Ed

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Ed, I've heard about this gardening business but never tried it. Personally I think your trying to curry favour with the opposition but will inevitably fall into no mans land rebuffed by both parties.
                      Dont expect to be rescued by the 'New Men' on 'Regards from' !!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Help!

                        Ed

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You can't garden in your current condition! You have a bad case of "bed sheet finger". Just politely inform your wife that any attempt to even lift a shovel, may incapacitate you further...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Too late Greg. I should've thought about that sooner. I think CJ and Jeanie threw in the "variables" because they know what they say is not necessarily what they mean. Now Deb said that if she asked for the shovel, it would mean that she was going to dig the hole. But I guess we'll never know if that's really what she means!

                            Ed

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I beg to differ. I always say what I mean and mean what I say. It's what I DON'T say that can be a problem.

                              The truth is, I'm more like DJ. If I just wanted you to hand me the shovel, that's what I would ask for. And if I wanted something in addition to that, you'd know!

                              However, given the way you asked the question originally, you implied that your wife meant more than she said, so I was trying to figure out the "more" so that I could correctly intrepret her "simple" statement.

                              Jeanie

                              Comment

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