Women!

[Ed_L]

Yeah, we all know what they said, but being guys, how do we know what that means?

Ed

[d_kendal]

so true

[Doug Nelson]

Sure women think they mean what they say. If they didn't they'd be mean. But if they did mean it, this thread wouldn't exist. Know what I mean?

And I mean that

[jeaniesa]

I beg to differ. I always say what I mean and mean what I say. It's what I DON'T say that can be a problem.

The truth is, I'm more like DJ. If I just wanted you to hand me the shovel, that's what I would ask for. And if I wanted something in addition to that, you'd know!

However, given the way you asked the question originally, you implied that your wife meant more than she said, so I was trying to figure out the "more" so that I could correctly intrepret her "simple" statement.

Jeanie

[Ed_L]

Too late Greg. I should've thought about that sooner. I think CJ and Jeanie threw in the "variables" because they know what they say is not necessarily what they mean. Now Deb said that if she asked for the shovel, it would mean that she was going to dig the hole. But I guess we'll never know if that's really what she means!

Ed

[G. Couch]

You can't garden in your current condition! You have a bad case of "bed sheet finger". Just politely inform your wife that any attempt to even lift a shovel, may incapacitate you further...

[Ed_L]

Help!

Ed

[chris h]

Ed, I've heard about this gardening business but never tried it. Personally I think your trying to curry favour with the opposition but will inevitably fall into no mans land rebuffed by both parties.
Dont expect to be rescued by the 'New Men' on 'Regards from' !!!

[Ed_L]

Well, some cool responses. But Brandee at lease assumes that she didn't *mean* what she *said*. For what it's worth, she usually doesn't want me to weed her flowers because when I do I weed her *flowers* (and miss the weeds). I do just about all of the physical labor. We have a vegetable garden being prepared for planting. That's my job. Jak said "Ask me what I want/mean if you're not sure". That's *sure* death! I think Greg was close when he said "hand her the shovel and walk away slowly. I would only change the last word to "quickly".

Ed

I think you have a long row to hoe Ed. Your gonna loose what ever you say.

[G. Couch]

Apparently there should be an option 5 - "Will you hand me the shovel?" could mean any number of things, and fully answering the question depends on an almost infinite number of variables...sort of like predicting the weather!

My advice - hand her the shovel and walk away slowly.

[CJ Swartz]

DJ, you've just added another variable -- what was said right before she asked Ed for the shovel. Perhaps she's getting ready to "threaten"...

I agree that folks shouldn't feel the need to guess what she or he "really means", but I've also experienced dealing with folks who mean MORE than their words say. I'll bet, however, that Ed's wife is a direct type of person (remember "I'm not a doctor") She probably just wants the shovel. But that still doesn't guarantee what she's gonna do WITH it.

BTW, Ed -- thanks for starting this thread -- it's been fun!

[Jakaleena]

I'd have to go with CJ and Jeanie on that one, Ed. Way too many variables...

I have always wondered why it is that men (or anyone for that matter) have to turn themselves inside out trying to guess what it is that I want, and then continuously wonder if everything I say has some mysterious alterior meaning. But here are my own personal thoughts on those types of situations.

1. Ask me what I want/mean if you're not sure

2. Believe my answer

[DJ Dubovsky]

Maybe I'm a weird kind of girl but if I ask for a shovel it's because I want it to dig myself. If I want a hand digging I come out and ask for that directly such as "Could you help me dig this up please?" That always works for me. Of course I usually say that after I get the shovel so I have more leverage as to what they will reply. Who's going to say no when someone threatens them with a shovel. Just kidding
DJ

[Brandee]

Originally posted by CJ Swartz
...working on a project that you assigned yourself instead of working on one that your wife asked you to do...

!!

The correct response would have been "Honey, you look like you could use a break. Why don't I fix you a drink and you can go sit down while I finish this for you!"

And unless those were some very, VERY large weeds, I'm going out on a limb and assuming she wanted help... and I don't just mean by passing over the shovel. (: