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  • Fruitcake recipe

    >Subject: My favorite Fruitcake
    >
    >
    > > Here is an excellent Fruitcake Recipe. It is good even
    > > for those who do
    > > not
    > > usually like fruitcake.
    > >
    > > Fruitcake Recipe:
    > > 1 cup water
    > > 1 cup sugar
    > > 4 large eggs
    > > 2 cups dried fruit
    > > 1 teaspoon baking soda
    > > 1 teaspoon salt
    > > 1 cup brown sugar
    > > lemon juice
    > > nuts
    > > 1 gallon whiskey
    > >
    > > Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large
    > > bowl. Check the
    > > whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
    > > Pour one level
    > > cup
    > > and drink. Repeat.
    > > Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a
    > > large, fluffy bowl.
    > > Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the
    > > whiskey is still
    > > OK.
    > > try another tup.
    > > Turn off mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and
    > > chuck in the cup
    > > of
    > > dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit
    > > gets stuck in the
    > > beaters, pry it loose with a screwdriver.
    > > Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next,
    > > sift 2 cups of
    > > salt.
    > > Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now
    > > sift the lemon juice
    > > and
    > > strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or
    > > something.
    > > Whatever
    > > you can find.
    > > Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
    > > Don't forget to
    > > beat
    > > off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
    > > Check the whiskey
    > > again.
    > > Go to bed.
    > > Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
    > >
    > >

  • #2
    And here I thought it was a real recipe. Actually it's probably the closest I'd come to actually eating one of those aweful things.
    DJ

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    • #3
      I'm printing this one out and making it sometime around Christmas! Thanks Ed!

      Comment


      • #4
        I really like fruit cake. But I also like mince meat pie and turnips so I am a little strange.

        Bob

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        • #5
          Bob, I'm a closet fruitcake lover too!! I was afraid to say anything, glad you spoke up so I know I'm not alone.

          Margaret

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          • #6
            Margaret, if these people had a fresh, homemade fruitcake they would react much diferently. And before anyone comments there are fresh fruitcakes. Not just that one old cake that keeps getting passed around.

            Bob

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            • #7
              I make a 12"x12" fruit cake every christmas. It usually lasts about a week my family and I love it. And I do agree if they tasted one of my fuit cakes they would love it .

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              • #8
                Sanda, my mother-in-law passed away 2 yrs ago. I haven't had a fresh fruitcake since. Even our Iowa farm relatives no longer make fruit cakes. And the things they call fruitcakes in the stores should be illegal. Kee-p on baking!!!!

                Bob

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                • #9
                  You're right Bob and Sanda. I remember making fruitcake with my Mother at Christmas time. We had to chop up the candied and dried fruit by hand and Mom would mix it in a huge bowl. I don't know how she even turned the spoon Mom's recipe made several large loaves of fruitcake. I miss those days

                  I've never made fruitcake myself - maybe this should be the year.

                  Getting back to Ed's recipe, I worked for many years as a telephone operator and of course we all had to work on Christmas Day (so everyone else could phone home). Since we were all homesick, many of the ladies brought various goodies - baking etc. to share.

                  One Christmas one of the ladies brought the most deliscious fruitcake. I couldn't stay away from it and as the day wore on, I got less and less coherent and barely made it home before I crashed into a stupor.

                  After Christmas, the embarrassed lady told us that she liked to poke holes in her fruitcake and pour liquor over it and let it soak in. Turns out, her daughter thought she was "helping" by adding her own dolup of 180 proof. By the time the cake made it to the goodies table at work, it was humming pretty good. I wasn't the only casualty.

                  Take care,
                  Margaret

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                  • #10
                    Bob,
                    I don't think you're all that strange. I like mince meat pie too.

                    Margaret,
                    I love that story. It would probably make for a very Merry Christmas!

                    Sandra,
                    Why don't you make a real big one this year to share with all your friends here. I'd like to try it myself.

                    Ed

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                    • #11
                      I'm with Ed!! Sanda, start you're oven(s)!!

                      Bob

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                      • #12
                        We had a neighbor that baked fruit cake using real fruit not that candied stuff they usually bake into them and this was a moist delicious cake. That type of fruit cake I would eat any day but the one my Mom always made with those rubbery dried fruits loaded with Red and Green commercial dye #2 was the absolute worst junk on earth. I think she also added some ancient mumification chemicals passed down from some distant Eqyption ancestor cause the thing never got stale. Sorry Mom.
                        Mince meat pies were fine with me. I had no real beef with those. Ha Ha
                        DJ

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                        • #13
                          Well DJ, sounds like your Mom got the recipe right.

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                          • #14
                            By the way DJ, what your neighbor made is called a pie. Bet it didn't have half the life span of a Twinkie.

                            Bob

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                            • #15
                              wonder if I would need a liquor licence to export it. I use almost a whole bottle of brandy in it. lol

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