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All slightly too high key for my taste and you have introduced a green caste to the image noticeable in the hair and the shoulder shadow. For my taste a little more d&b on the forehead and neck/breastbone area to even out some of the 'blotches'.
I guess it is an artistic look that you are going for, but I don't really see much retouching - just a shift in color hue. It is a preference things I guess, but I prefer the original. Could be your end client wants a unique, different look?
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